It's Eid again! After one month fasting, it's the time Muslims around the world celebrate this meaningful event with friends and families.
For Malaysian folks, we dressed up, take family pictures and get ready to hit the road visiting families and friends. Some stay at home preparing traditional dishes; lemang, ketupat, rendang, satay - anticipating guests to come. As Eid week is a long holiday, we take this opportunity to visit our long-lost friends and catch up with our siblings and extended families.
For introvert folks, this means they have to socialize with them. It may take extra effort to get prepared before socializing. These folks need to ensure they stay fresh, full of social battery before starting the day.
One of the stereo types that introverts have is that introverts do not know how to socialize. Silent awkward always there among introverts. Though introverts' energy is consumed by meeting people, introverts are actually great in socializing with their own unique way. Introverts' strength relies on their commendable listening skills, thoughtfulness and empathy when converse. They notice details that others might miss, and their presence is calm and comforting, making it pleasant to be around. They actually know how to carry themselves in their own unique way. Leveraging their strength can help a lot during socializing by being themselves.
Here I list 6 survival kits that I use to survive Eid gatherings as an introvert.
Listen a lot
Introverts are usually good listeners. This is one of the traits that make good leaders. Listen attentively to what your family and friends are saying. They may be excited to update themselves to their acquaintances. Take this opportunity to listen what they wanted to say. You don't have to cut the conversations and give your opinions. Ask right questions to bring the conversation to a certain depth.
Sometimes, it is tempting to throw counter opinions about things that we don't agree, or counter update about yourself on certain topic. However, I usually find that drains energy. Hence, I usually give up telling stories about myself and choose to listen to others.
Prepare a list of conversation prompts
This is super helpful to prevent awkward silent or preventing a direct paint that I am not interested in socializing. Keep some prompt cards in your phone just in case.
Throwing conversation prompt to extrovert acquaintance is an easy work. You start conversation just in one sentence, let your extrovert friends carry the conversation until visiting time is up.
I asked Microsoft Co-Pilot on conversation prompts. Here are examples of conversation prompts that can help to spark a conversation.
Elder people can't help but not to give advice to younger generations. Our job is to listen attentively, despite their advice may not be relevant. Listening to their advice is one thing, taking or leaving their advice is another topic.
Having a conversation with kids is interesting too. Talking to them is less stressful as they are just kids; it's fun and lighthearted! Here are conversation starters for kids:
I like to compliment food! It is a safe and general prompt. It influences the cook to brag him/herself for quite some time. They may offer tips on cooking. Though it seems 'unwanted advice', all you have to do just relax, sip a cup of tea and listen to them attentively. Let them brag about it.
I asked Microsoft Co-Pilot on example of prompts for specified age group. Here are great suggestions when meeting elder people:
It's important to evaluate whether the prompts are appropriate or not to say. We do not want to touch sensitive issues about a person. It may be someone's marriage status, sensitive health status, body sizes and more.
Better to stay silent if feels unsure or have nothing nice to say.
Plan 'pit stops' to recharge social battery
We all have back-to-back gatherings! Lots of houses to visit but too overwhelmed to socialize. Plan your trip based on energy capacity that you have. Unplanned gatherings may drain your social battery quickly. When social battery is finished, the Eid trip is not fun anymore - you don't want to be the person that turn the trip to an unhappy memory, right?
Plan your itinerary trips with pit stops scheduled to recharge in between. Examples of pit stops to recharge are naps, prayer breaks or stopping by at coffee shops and Family Mart.
Always take your time and not rush to meeting people. After all, we all want to have happy & meaningful gathering with family & friends.
Focus to converse with one person, or converse with small group of people
Introverts are bad when converse in one-to-many mode. Don't do that.
Occupy yourself with one person or small group of people. Use your introvert instinct to have a deep, meaningful conversation with them.
Ask right questions at right time. If you are kind of introvert that don't like to disclose so much about you, you must ask questions more than being questioned by second person.
Help host to prepare and clean up dishes
Sitting in the living room doing nothing is always awkward. There are many people in the living room, it may be overwhelmed to start a conversation.
You can try to offer yourself to help host to prepare or clean dishes in her kitchen. This way, you can have a close conversation with the host without being interfered by others. Plus, this is a good excuse from socializing in the living room.
Talk to cats, fish and babies
When you can't help your social battery, you can try talk to creatures that can't talk back.
Talk to cats, fish in the aquarium and babies that you can find. Other than giving yourself chances to sooth yourself, it occupies your time and make it less awkward around people.